Welcome to teaching in Korea!  If you’ve just arrived at a hagwon, you’re sitting in front of a pile of one hundred different books with a class full of students staring at you.  If you’re in a public school, perhaps you are using your God-given talent to warm your office chair.  Either way, these simple tricks will get your foot in the door of your students’ minds.

TIP 1: Demonstrate the superiority of your frontal lobe

             Students are like dogs.  If you show them that you are the alpha, they will respect you.  To some teachers, this means choosing the strongest kid and killing him in a cage match.  But, if you want the love of your underlings, you’d better go another route.

             Children are young and underdeveloped.  If you remember being a child, you might recall falling all over yourself when doing the simplest tasks.  As an adult, your finely tuned frontal lobe helps you maintain your balance, control your emotions, and color within the lines.  Use these skills to impress the young minds you wish to mold.

             To earn their respect and admiration, ask them to perform some simple tasks.  As your children struggle, deftly illustrate your adult strengths by walking a balance beam or patting your head and rubbing your tummy.  Your children will be so impressed with your skills that they will know not to challenge your authority.

             A simple trick to exemplify your adult coordination is to draw a picture on the board or join in on coloring time.  Not skilled at drawing?  Give it a shot anyway.  Students like to laugh more than they like to respect, which leads us to tip two.

TIP 2: Have a sense of humor

             If students are making jokes with each other in your class they are filling a void that you left open for them.  The simple solution is to outstrip them with your adult awesome and leave them stuck with nothing to say.

             Has a student fallen asleep on their desk?  Use this opportunity to playfully sneak up on him and mime sticking a pencil in his ear.  Are students laughing at your feeble attempt to draw a horse on the board?  Tell them “I’m an artist” and let them giggle. 

             The purpose is control.  If you direct their laughter you are still in control.  What’s that, you say?  Those jokes are stupid?  True.  But so are children.  You know those jokes your dad makes?  It’s because you used to laugh at them.  Go ahead- make a few dad jokes with your students and see the response.

Children are desperate for entertainment- and if it happens to double as class, then it’s a win.  This leads us neatly to tip 3.

TIP 3: Use games

             Once again, let’s remind ourselves that our students are in school all day every day- even Saturday- and possibly head to church on Sunday, too, thereby eating up all of their free time ever.

             Kids are kids.  They want- they need- to have a little fun once in a while.  Why not give them a positive outlet for that energy with a few games in class?

             First off, do NOT play hangman every day.  Children are dumb but no one is that dumb.  Put together a few standbys to keep your students on their toes.

             Three simple game formats that require few materials are:

                          +Board games- Got dice?  Maybe only a die?  Draw a game on the board and play in teams or print out some sheets and let them play in groups.  Let the good times… roll.  Dad joke pride!

                           +Card games- Got some cards?  Try taking one away while students close their eyes and see if they can remember the missing one.  Or, make some copies and play Go Fish or Gin Rummy.

                           +Ball games- This is as simple as it sounds.  Ask them to hit a target or pass one around the room.

             These three simple ideas have thousands of variations that can fool your students into thinking that you are their dungeon master.  Throw in some random points (or switch points) to keep the winning team from getting too comfortable and the losers from bursting into tears. 

TIP 4: Be patient

             Take a moment to consider the daily routine of your student.  First, he wakes up at 7:00 and goes to public school until 2pm.  Then, he goes from afterschool activity to afterschool activity.  Computer academy, science academy, and finally, he’s in your class at 8pm at night. 

             Is there an antsy student distracting everyone?  Put yourself in his shoes.  When is the last time that kid played outside or had a moment to himself?  Maybe last Sunday?  Get the jump on him and start a TPR exercise.  Or, invest in a giant hamster wheel and have him power your computer.

             Also keep in mind-- and this is changing with younger generations—sick days are frowned upon.  Before berating a student for falling asleep in your class, check to see if he’s sick.  Chances are your sympathy will win over your anger.

              The lesson here is-- if you want to build a Korean minion army—show off your adult frontal lobe and control yourself.  If you’re yelling the whole class nobody is learning anything and you’re not doing your job.  Which leads us to my last tip.

TIP 5: Show them you care

             Korea is different from your homeland.  Take a look around.  Chances are 99% of the people you see are Korean- and that’s if you have a mirror handy.  To your students, you are a representative of every non-Korean ever.  Your job is to make them trust you, like you, maybe even get interested in finding out more about the rest of the world.

Look back at the schedule under #4-- do you see any time with their parents?  Most of your students are bursting to the brim with desire for adult attention.  Harness this longing.  It can be as simple as complimenting a drawing or showing you’re studying Korean in your free time.  If students think you're interested in them they'll give you even more in return.  They’ll want to talk to you.  They’ll have to speak English.

In short, your job is to be liked.  Be kind, be entertaining, flex your frontal lobe and restrain your anger.  Maybe even let them stroke your arm hair a little.  You’re a cultural representative now. 

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